Thursday, August 11, 2005

my feelings on "krab"

first i totally feel the pain of the fish who's previously tasty flesh is then smashed and filled with food coloring and then given the embarrassing name Krab.

but it is kinda cool that no one can say the word "Krab" without using hand gestures.

i once wanted some crab but when i walked up to the seafood case at my local Whole Foods and saw the outrageous price I thought, "Oh, well I guess I'll have to have Krab instead." so I marched up to the nearest seafood counter worker and asked where the "krab" was and oh, my god! the look on the man's face was that of confusion, hate, disgust and pity. I then realized what I had just done.

I asked for krab in the most anti krab place I could.

i kinda want to do it again...

you know how when you get a fresh crab from the truck on the side of the road on the coast and take it home and start cracking it open to get to the yummy meat out and then your fingers start stinging. it's like putting whiskey on an open wound.

Well i think we should only eat krab to save the poor workers from having to work all day with painfull crab juice on thier hands.

nice topic jordi


Leah said...

I'll never get over watching you guys eating the crab at our Thanksgiving getaway. It was fascinating. You were like starving animals. The way you were ravenously tearing open the crabs and popping them in your mouths, the juices flowing and squirting everywhere was just like watching a nature video of hyenas or some other scavenger. I don't mean it in a bad way, it was really cool.

Jordia Tortilla said...

Actually Leah, what you describe of our crustacean-frenzy sounds more like porn, what with all the "juices flowing and squirting everywhere." I love crab porn!

Speaking of T.Giving Getaway, let's do that again this year! I'll be more involved in the process, and help find a nice place; where should it be? Is THIS the 20th aniversary year?

Jordia Tortilla said...

Tyesha, this insight into the world of crab and krab is a work of genius. You could invent a new pastime: horrify the fancy grocery store fishmonger!

We should devour another beautiful sea insect soon and let the stingy juices squirt and flow down our forearms until they solidify in the creases of our elbows. Then we'll scrape out the crab-juice jelly and give eachother massages with it.